Dorm Delicacies - Geneva College, a Christian College in Pennsylvania (PA)

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Campus Life
September 22, 2016

Dorm Delicacies

Part of being a Geneva student is learning how to make the most amazing meals with just a microwave, candle warmer and coffee pot. There is a pride that comes out in all students when they are able to cook up their first meal on their own without leaving the four white walls of their dorm room.

However, this task is not an easy one. Many a late night has been spoiled by a burnt meal that sends all students out in the cold while the fire department clears out the remnants of a spoiled, first date, microwave meal for two. Thus, here are some Dorm Delicacies that have been passed down from generations of Tornadoes.

The Lori Gilmore Breakfast:

The inspiration for this meal came from none other than the television show Gilmore girls and was inspired by the beloved mother Lori Gilmore. Beware this is not for the faint of heart.

  • 1 Poptart microwaved for 7 seconds on high
  • 3 Cups of coffee, (any brand will do as long as it’s a good one)
  • Cream & Sugar added to coffee at your leisure

In order to fully enjoy the Lori Gilmore one must consume two cups of coffee while still in the dorm and one cup while on the way to class.

Elf Supreme

The recipe below is for a master of the college life and should only be attempted by someone confident in their dorm life meal prep.

  • Use only hot water in coffee pot and slowly add in spaghetti through spout
  • Crush up poptarts, candy canes, and candy corn
  • Combine coffee pot made spaghetti, crushed poptarts, candy canes and candy corn
  • Lightly drizzle syrup over top  

The Ron Swanson

This one is for all you men out there to prove your worth in manhood; Are you up for the challenge?

  • Warm up bacon, sausage and frozen hamburger patty on the candle warmer.
  • Eat
    *Note the backside of a flat iron can be used as a substitute warmer.

The RP Mac & Cheese

This one requires you either have your Psalter on hand or the semester is far enough along that you have completed your required chapel swipes and can now sing five psalms by memory.

  • Put microwave Mac & Cheese in the microwave
  • Hit start.
  • Sing.
  • Microwave for the length of one Psalm.
    *Note try sticking to Psalms with only four stanzas for best results.

The Freshman 15:

For all your underclassman who may find it hard to make some of these recipes this one is for you.

  • Unplug all appliances
  • Empty pockets for change
  • Walk to Sheetz with prospective future spouse
  • Use change to buy as many Sheetz hotdogs as you can

The Geneva College Dorm Delicacies are all made with good fun in mind. Please note that these recipes are highly unhealthy and have not been given the Tornado stamp of health approval.