Welcoming your son or daughter home for the summer after their first year of college is a significant transition for both students and parents. Understanding and navigating this change well can foster a supportive and harmonious home environment. 

Returning home after living independently at college can be both exciting and challenging for students. They've experienced newfound freedom and personal growth which may influence their expectations and behaviors at home. It's not uncommon for students to seek increased autonomy leading to potential shifts in family dynamics. Open and respectful communication is essential during this period. Discussing household expectations, responsibilities, and boundaries while practicing patience and empathy can help align everyone's needs and reduce potential conflicts. 

You might consider asking yourself the following questions: 

• “How is parenting my young adult different than when he or she was a child or early teen?” “How have their needs changed?” 

• “In what ways might their growing autonomy serve them well as they mature?” “How is God growing ME in this process as I relinquish control?” 

• “What are realistic expectations I can have of them?” “What expectations might they have of me?” 

If your son or daughter returns home after graduation, the transition may be more pronounced. They've completed a significant life milestone and might be exploring career opportunities or further studies. This phase can come with a mix of excitement, uncertainty, a desire for independence, and even expressions of grief over the loss of their college community. It's important to acknowledge their achievements, validate their feelings, concerns, and questions, and support their aspirations while maintaining an open dialogue about household roles and expectations. Collaboratively setting goals and boundaries can help balance familial support with your student's need for autonomy. 

Regardless of whether your child is returning after their first year, after graduation, or somewhere in-between, promoting their independence while maintaining a strong family bond is crucial. Encouraging them to take on responsibilities such as contributing to household chores or pursuing personal projects can foster a sense of purpose and belonging. At the same time, facilitating quality family time free from distractions, modeling healthy coping skills and self-care practices, and being appropriately open and honest about your own questions and concerns with life’s challenges can strengthen your relationship and provide a solid support system as they navigate their post-college journey. 

In summary, each transition — whether it's returning home for the summer or after graduation — presents unique opportunities and challenges. By embracing open communication, setting mutual expectations, and supporting your child's growth, you can create a nurturing environment that honors their evolving needs and aspirations. 

By Toby Shope, Staff Counselor of Health & Counseling Services