It can be difficult to live with a stranger while also adjusting to your college experience. It can be easy to worry before you move in, since you probably have not met your roommate and do not know them very well. Are they clean or messy? Introverted or extroverted? Steelers fan or Eagles fan? Geneva College Residence Life puts significant thought into the match-up process, but it is impossible to know how well two people will be able to live with each other. While many people are pleased with their freshman roommate, here are a few tips on how to optimize your life with your freshman roommate.
At the start of the semester, every room is required to fill out a roommate agreement form. This form sparks conversations about each person’s expectations in regard to visitors, cleanliness, sleep schedules, and other relevant topics. By framing each of your expectations in the beginning of the semester both students can be conscientious of each other’s needs in the future. Also, if you end up having problems later on in the semester, then this form can help roommates work through their complications and maybe reframe their expectations and adjust their actions in order to find a peaceful resolution. Even upper-level students are required to fill out a roommate agreement form at the beginning of the year, because of the value it provides in starting these conversations about needs and expectations.
To get along with your roommate, you must work to have healthy communicate with them. If you have a problem with how they leave their clothes on your side of the room, tell them. If they keep forgetting to take out their trash and it begins to smell, tell them. It is likely that they might not realize they are bothering you. Confront them respectfully when you have a problem with something they are doing, and make sure to keep a kind tone. It is also important to communicate with each other even when you are not having problems with each other. If you only talk to each other when there is a problem, you likely will not build a very close relationship, and you might start to resent each other.
Be aware that your roommate is also going through the stressful transition of starting college. They might be feeling overwhelmed or anxious, and these emotions can sometimes put a strain on the roommate relationship. Show grace towards your roommate and, if possible, try to help them work through their feelings. You both are going through a difficult transition, so be aware of how that might impact and influence your relationship.
You do not have to become best friends with your roommate, but you will probably have an easier time if you at least talk to them a bit. Make polite conversation. Ask about their family, their hobbies, their pets. Check-in with them sometimes to see how they’re handling college. If you show a genuine interest in them, you and your roommate could then create a friendship, or at least reduce the awkwardness that comes with sharing a room with a stranger.
If you want to deepen the relationship with your roommate, ask questions! Asking questions is the best way to get to know someone. Consider asking them how school is, what their favorite class is, and what extracurriculars they are interested in. As you begin to learn more about them then you can begin to ask more personal questions, but this will not work if you are not willing to answer the questions that they might ask you. Most people do not want to open up to someone who does not want to share anything with them.
If you are having serious problems with your roommate, talk to your RA, the resident assistant. The RAs at Geneva College are trained to help mediate problems that residents might have. They are equipped to walk students through various interpersonal problems, and they know what steps to take when there are problems. They might have even gone through a similar problem in their freshman year. Your RA is a valuable resource, so do not be afraid to talk to them about any concerns you may be having.
Rooming with a stranger will be awkward for the first couple of weeks or months, but this awkwardness will not last forever. Eventually, the two of you will fall into a pattern and hopefully you will be able to room together smoothly.
If you are nervous about your rooming arrangements connect with Residence Life staff or speak to an admissions counselor!
Opinions expressed in the Geneva Blog are those of its contributors and do not necessarily represent the opinions or official position of the College. The Geneva Blog is a place for faculty and contributing writers to express points of view, academic insights, and contribute to national conversations to spark thought, conversation, and the pursuit of truth, in line with our philosophy as a Christian, liberal arts institution.
Aug 1, 2024
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